The Beginning - 2006

By mid-2006, the lapses grew even wider and the cycle now lasted from 3 days to just 1day only. Strangely, I also began to display other symptoms such as night sweats. I attributed that cause to my fan being not strong enough (despite the fact that I used TWO every night at its fullest speed). I also began to have hot flushes (blushes) at times and usually I attributed that to feeling blushed or flattered. Cause at that time, I had lost even more weight - 63kg due to all the regular exercise as well as careful food intake. So I thought I was now more noticeable than before. Hehehe..

Well, the mood swings were still present but it was not as bad as those in 2004. Which again, I simply attributed it to PMS. Plus, I had my monthly cramps as well. So in that sense, if one still have these two common characteristics, one need not fear of anything right? Or that's what I thought.

Then, in a simple conversation with a friend, I found out that she had missed her menses like myself too. After 6months of void, she went to seek a professional help. The doctor took an ultrasound scan as well as gave her some oral contraceptives to induce the hormones for menstruation.

I was shocked and yet relieved to find out that a friend of mine had faced a similar problem as mine. But that relief quickly disappeared and replaced with fear. Fear that something could be awfully wrong with me as it had been nearly 2years for my irregularities. I thus, decided to share with her on my situation and that was a relief - that someone now knows about it. It's like a secret-kept for too long and now let go.

Of course, she urged me to see a doctor but I was too scared of the possible outcome. I had seen an episode from our local series, "First Touch" of a similar case. The character was 25years old and she was diagnosed with Pre-Menopause and she was distraught. I could never forget that show and the look on her face cause I saw myself in it.

So I asked my friends this question, "If you suspect something is wrong (medically), would you want to know what it now or let nature take its natural cause and you might find out naturally in the end? And what happens if you know it now and it is a bad thing. Thus wouldn't it better to not know then?"

Most replied that they would rather know it now as that would mean early detection and intervention. So I then told them of my predicament. Most were shocked and urged me to go for a checkup asap. But alas, I was still contemplating cause I felt that I would rather not know at all and even if it means no menses, then so be it. I guess, I still believe that I would have it eventually - in time.

In an effort to push me for a checkup, a friend then made an appointment for me (without my knowledge and consent) as well as print out some articles for me. I was naturally angry as I was not prepared for it mentally but I was also touched. We argued and to end the arguments, I agreed to go.

I slept really late the night before as I was nervous and was still contemplating of going or not. On that fateful day, I pretended to over-slept. My handphone and residential line kept on ringing non-stop and I eventually answered after 30mins. My friend and a few others were already on their way to meet me at the clinic while another would meet me sometime later in the afternoon. She nagged me the whole time so I decided to go ahead anyway.

And so it all began from herein forward................................