The Beginning - 2005

In 2005, as part of my new lifestyle, I signed up for a gym membership. I began my regular workouts and by mid 2005, I was at 68kg. I was very proud of myself and my weight-loss that I neglected my "menses loss" so as to speak.

As time went by, the lapses grew more distant/wider i.e. from 2-3months to 6months!!.. I did panicked for a little while and I indirectly asked my mother about it i.e. "is it common for a mid-20s to be having such cause chronologically, my body has way past its developmental stage?" And her reply was rather assuring as she cited that she faced a similar situation before in her early 20s and eventually the problem dissolved and the cycle became regular again.

I dare not confide with my friends about this cause I felt embarrassed of what they might perceive of me i.e. under-developed or something. So I kept it to myself. Not even from my sisters and mother.

Sometimes, I had to pretend that I was menstruating when infact I was not like buying of sanitary pads when I actually don't need it, skipping about 3 days of fast so as not to arise any suspicious. And I prayed every night for that sin but I was simply too afraid to let others knew and to even find out for myself. I guess, I kept on believing that things will be back to normal eventually so I should just wait patiently.

Thus, I dropped the matter, the concern and simply focused on other elements in my life - work, family, friends, losing weight etc.

No one knew. NO ONE....................