The Aftermaths

Well, it was certainly a relief that people now know, so there is no longer any secrets to be guarded/kept tightly. Certainly a relief indeed. But a relief is then replaced with queries like how could it be possible? What triggers it? What to do now? etc etc.. And of course, (unspokenly) blame were then being shifted around. Is it my fault? Is it yours? Is it my negligence? Is it yours? etc etc.. Oh man!!!...

Thankfully, the probes did not last long. After a few days, people simply stop asking or looking at me in a sorta weird or funny way. After a few days, life went back to normal for everyone, including me (or so it appears on the surface). I began on my quest for knowledge eventhough the outcome was still a mystery. I thought if the result was negative, then all I have gained is a general knowledge. And if it is positive, then all I have gained is a better understanding. The more I researched, the more similarities I found through the given checklist. And the more prepared I was (mentally) if the result was positive.

3months passed by and soon came 22nd December 2006. I went for my ultrasound scan and for my medical review. The doctor revealed that the hormones level were indeed relatively high. However, my scan results proved to be at a normal range i.e. nothing appeared wrong with my ovaries. but they can't figure out why the hormones were not absorbed. Thus the 2 results were rather confounding. To further deduce, I was then made to go for another blood test as well as to take another (stronger) dosage of oral contraceptives.

I don't quite understand it either. I mean, if my ovaries are fine or in its normal range, so how could I possibly have a "Pre-mature Ovarian Failure"? A possibiliy that was just too hard to swallow. And I was not able to answer questions from my mother, sisters, friends cause I, myself was at a puzzlement. In the end, mother felt that I am better off not finding out anymore and to end any treatment possible. She still believe that based on her own past experience, I would gain a similar outcome like hers too i.e. resumed menstrual cycle.

I guess, I am just the sort who wants to know what causes it and what can be done to avoid it for the future and what can be done till then. But I am surely glad to have done my research in prior.............................................