Re: A long time due

Yes, its been a fricking really long time since I last wrote - more than a year to be exact!! No good excuse except for being plain lazy.. And initially I had thought of leaving it "de-funct" or stagnant but surprisingly, Ive been receiving comments here and there which shows that this blog is still of readership value.. So I guess, Im writting abit for those people too..

So what has been new since the last entry?

Well, I had my Bone Mass Density (BMD) test somewhere in May this year. Basically it is a test to estimate the age of my bones and the extent of its loss. Cause, it is said that in the case of women who has menopause, their estrogene level stops. And estrogene aids in the development and replacement of bone tissues and bone minerals. In the case of absence, the bones becomes brittle and a high risk of having osteoperosis. And in most cases, osteoperosis is one of the main cause for fractures.

So anyway, I went for the test and it was an interesting experience. A month later, somewhere in June, I got my results. Yes, I do have osteoperosis and osteopenia too. At first, I was shocked and in disbelief. I mean, I am young. I am fit - not as fit but fit and healthy nonetheless. I exercise every now and then. I do physical activities with my students. Thus, I do not understand why and how it could have been.

From shocked and disbelief, I moved on to fear. Fear of what osteoperosis might do to me, might affect me and mostly fear of my job. From my limited knowledge about osteoperosis, it is said that the bones are brittle and higher rate of bone loss and lower rate of bone replacement. As such, a high likelihood for a fracture when fall. I do not fear of falling or the fracture. I fear that I will not be able to do my job. I fear that it will hinder my job. Mostly, I fear it will rob me of the cause that I am passionate on and I will have to give it up.

Gynae gave me another supply of medicine to take. Again, its for life. Its called, "Protos". Its of a stronger type of medicine for the bones. The good thing is, its in a sachet form so no pill for me. So I took it for the next few nights. I felt different during the day. Like I used to have muscle and back aches easily but it does not now. However, I also realised that each night after I took it, it caused a "tingling" sensation down my spine and my back ached (left) as well. As such, my sleep was disrupted coz its rather discomforting to sleep only in one position.

So after a few weeks, I stopped taking it. Then I takes it when I remembers it.

From fear for my job, I began to develop fear over small little things like I had to walk extra slowly and carefully if the road/pavement is slippery. Or I would avoid that road/pavement as possibly if I could. I fear if I run or jump, I might fall and when I do, I might fracture my bone. I fear for activties that I enjoy like badminton, cycling or even playing in the rain. I fear for every single things and actions.

Thankfully, the fear does not stay for long cause I soon realised that if I let the fear controls me, I will miss out on the wonderful things in life. As such, I've decided to take control of my life and take a gamble. And I have not looked back on my decision ever since.

I have not fallen thus far.. Neither do I cut back on my work involvement too. I guess, it is all but a "mind over matter".. Life has been good and is going good too! *smilez*