When you thought nomore

Over lunch last week, I was talking with a dear friend on life changes and expectations. And we both agreed that we (and most humans) are chasing after the wrong things in life. We chased for more wealth, higher job status, bigger car etc and in doing so, we compromised our quality times with our loved ones, our family and our friends. And as we reach our deathbed, the (usually and most common) one thing that we reminisce on are those quality times and a dying wish that we had done our lives differently - that we would spend more quality time than the chasing dreams. But alas, it was too late. And a wish remains as a wish.

Hasn't that always happen on people? And that made me reflect and think.

I have also been surfing around blogs and came across numerous blogs about infertility, IVF, surrogacy etc. . Maybe, like those (strong and faithful) women, I too could undertake the similar process, you know of fertilisation, artificial insemination etc. Maybe I could consider of "preserving" my eggs while I still can (or if). Maybe all is not lost and I could have my own kids through these methods. And with that hope shines through again.

But who am I kidding here? Even if I do manage to carry out the above, there is still a risk that my child may be born with a disability. And I cant deal with that. It is not about the social stigma but the quality of life. In this modern life, although much has been done to increase the welfare of persons with disabilities, many much more are still lacking.

Back at where Im working, I see the concerns of these parents daily. The young parents are concerned on the future education of their child while the older and matured parents are more concerned on the future of their child in general after the parents passed away. It is very sad.

And in the silent of the night, my tears flowed once again as feeling of loss and devastation overcame me......

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"You think the pain is numb and you can't cry anymore.

Then one day, you realise there is always tears left for you to cry.."

~Quoted from another blog user~

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